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Why you shouldn't go to Patong, Phuket Thailand

Updated: Apr 19, 2020

We aren't saying not to go to Phuket, but do NOT go to Patong!


Yea we read the reviews, we read "bustling beach town", "nightlife", we thought with as many people that visit, it has to be like Las Vegas on the beach. We got that wrong, it's home to a crowded & dirty beach that was once pristine, hoards of people and filthy Bangla Road, which makes Khao San Road in Bangkok look elementary!


We stayed at a very nice hotel, very modern, had our own personal hot tub, but the city itself is (sorry to say) trashy.


Luckily we only had to spend a little bit of time in the actual city since we had a full day boat tour.


I sound very negative, but I really don't understand why people come here unless they don't leave their resort or they are entertained by the happenings of Bangla Road. I'm sure the rest of the island is absolutely gorgeous and it's unfortunate we chose the worst place for our last 2 days.


So gone with the negative, let's talk about the positive so if you don't take our recommendation, you'll have a few good spots to check out.


Phuket Sail Tours

Phuket Sail Tours

We luckily spent most of our full day in Patong with Phuket Sail Tours. We chose the James Bond Island Sunset Tour, which is on their Big Boat vs a speed boat. The best thing about this tour was that there were only 6 of us plus the crew on this giant boat! It was so spacious and our guides were fantastic. The boat itself was very clean and there were 2 bathrooms on board...the speed boat we were on for the Phi Phi Islands tour did not have a bathroom, they joked, you can Pee Pee (in the water) but no Poo Poo.


We were picked up at our hotel around 1pm. The boat ride to the different destinations was so relaxing as we looked out to all the limestone rocks that jetting out from the sea. I could have spent days on the this boat.


Our first stop was Phanak Island. We had no idea what to expect, I thought we'd just be kayaking along the towering rock sides of the island, but then our guide told us to lay down...huh? Lay down? We were going straight at the rock wall, I thought to myself, what is happening? With the tide so high, I honestly had no idea where he thought he was taking us. Until we realized we were going through the smallest channel into a cave to get to the inside of this island. It was such a tight squeeze that our guide had to deflate air from our kayak. We then could see the light at the end of the tunnel and we made it inside the lagoon of Phanak Island. We'd never seen anything like this. And the best part, there were monkeys! We even saw a monkey hitch a ride from someone else's kayak.


The next stop on the tour was James Bond Island or Kho Ping Kan. It gets it's nickname from “The Man With the Golden Gun." We boarded the kayaks again to get on shore. Tip: the island is packed with tourists on day tours, that's why we chose the sunset tour. All the vendors were closing up shop once we landed and there was only 1 other tour group on the island with us. Also, watch out for anyone that offers to take a photo of you. A lady approached us to take a photo and we politely declined, but she insisted so we agreed and she had us doing all these goofy poses and we basically had to tell her that she'd taken enough. She then proceeded to direct us to her souvenir stall, but we legit brought zero money with us, she seemed to be a little annoyed, but when we showed her that we had nothing on us, she accepted the truth. The island itself is very small, there are different locations to view the famous rock formation to get that perfect shot.


On our way back, the sky was illuminated with the most beautiful sunset. Absolutely stunning.


Our last stop was to Hong Island once the sun set and the sky turned black. We got back into the kayaks with flashlights. Once we got under the cave in the pitch black, our guides told us to shine the flashlights in the water and use our hands to move the water around. And the dark waters sparkled! I had never even heard of this, but we were looking at bioluminescent plankton that's only visible on dark nights. It was so amazing and a perfect way to end the night!


We'd highly recommend this tour. We didn't mention before, but they keep you well fed with delicious Thai Food, Fried Chicken and other snacks. You can buy beer at the shop prior to getting on the boat and they can store it in their coolers full of pop and water.


Naughty Nuri's Restaurant

While researching restaurants on Trip Advisor, we noticed Naughty Nuri's had an outstanding rating with thousands of reviews. We read that they are famous for ribs, but neither of us loved ribs enough to order them from a restaurant before, but they had plenty of other options. When we got to the front of the restaurant, they were handing out samples of their world famous ribs, and O.M.G. were they fantastic! We were completely sold on them and ordered a rack, plus their nachos. Everything was so delicious, if we had another day, we would have gone back for seconds. The restaurant itself is VERY touristy, but a fun, entertaining environment. It originated as a street food vendor and completely blew up from the love of their ribs and we can totally see why.


Hotel Clover Patong


We spent our 2 nights in Patong at Hotel Clover. The location is just a block away from the beach, that we did not spend time at and a few blocks away from Bangla Road, which we did walk through for the experience, but the hundreds of Ping Pong Show slingers made me ill after hearing some of the back stories of the women. I have to be honest, we were curious, but after seeing the blank faced women dancing on tables and creepy old men, I knew this wasn't something we could support so we just walked on through. We actually spent both of our nights relaxing in our personal hot tub on the patio of our hotel room to escape the crazy Patong nightlife.



Hope you find some useful information or got inspired to visit Thailand.

For more information on other destinations check out the links below. Cheers!






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